Day 3 of Cycle - Ultrasound, 1/18/2012

I went back to Dr. Vasquez's office today for the follow up ultrasound from yesterday's Lupron injection.  Little did I know that I would have to have more blood drawn!  I assured the phlebotemist, Sherry, that I was certain I had no blood left to give her, and she assured me that I had plenty!  Hmmph.  Luckily it was only one vial today.  After the draw I went to the ultrasound room and had some vaginal cultures (just like a pap smear) taken and then the actual ultrasound to look at my uterus, cervix and ovaries.  Unlike NFC which only had the small screen on the ultrasound machine, CRH had the machine's screen extended to a larger screen so I could see what the tech was seeing.  Never mind that I don't actually know what she was looking at, at least I got to watch.  She took some images of all of the above and I happened to notice that when she was looking at my left ovary that she marked two small spots above and to the right and below and to the left of the ovary.  I don't know if it was for measurement purposes, or if they're cysts or something else, but I didn't ask and she didn't tell.  And I'm not sure if she did the same thing on the right side or not...I wasn't paying as close attention then.  I don't know if any of you all have had one of these types of ultrasounds done before or not, but when the tech angles in at the ovaries it's pretty uncomfortable.  Hopefully those marks are not bad news... just a few more weeks and we can put this puzzle together!

Day 2 of Cycle - Lupron Challenge Test, 1/17/12

Day one of my cycle was Monday so I called Dr. Vasquez's office and scheduled my Lupron Challenge Test for today and tomorrow.  After Vampira drew (no lie) 7 vials of blood, I received an injection of Lupron, which is designed to measure the change of estrodiol being produced.  In 24 hours I go back to the office for an ultrasound.

Can't Live Without

Here are some of my new favorite things:

I bought myself this Keurig B60 Special Edition coffee maker before Christmas when Kohl's was running a fabulous deal on it.  It retails for around $180 and I scored it for less than $90!!  I have at least one cup of tea a day out of this baby, so it has been worth the investment!

Avon Pro Brow Enhancer.  This stuff ROCKS!  It's gel based and has tiny bits of real hair in the gel so that they actually fill in sparse areas and make your brows look fuller!  The first time I noticed the little hairs I thought they were mine after just trimmimg my eyebrows, but it's all part of the wonder of the product.  I blast my hairdryer over my brows after using it to harden the gel and my brows look perfectly groomed all day.  Wonder product!

These gray herringbone TOMS are my second pair of these super comfy shoes.  I also have the red calculus ones.  There are so many styles to choose from and I find myself wanting about 10 more pairs!  The only drawback to them is that I don't wear socks with them and they make my feeties stink!

Sweet Jesus, these chocolate covered Craisins are delicious!  I hate to admit it, but I can kill an entire bag in a single sitting!  These little tart morsels of chocolate are so tasty.  I especially love it when Publix runs a BOGO sale on them!  I have seriously bought 4 bags at once and then hid them from Elvis so he wouldn't eat them!  Shameful.

This little gem is a wonderful addition to our kitchen sink.  It's the Pampered Chef glass cleaning brush, and it's worth every penny of it's $9 price tag!  The bristles are foam and the brush is rounded at the ends so it cleans glassware and stemware perfectly!  Plus it's split in the middle between a longer and shorter end so it cleans around the rims of glasses to remove mouth prints or lip gloss marks.  Genius!  It's by far my most favorite new kitchen tool because even Elvis likes its features so much that he'll wash his own glasses!

Big Bang Theory is one of the funniest shows on TV right now!  It's currently in its 5th season, so I bought seasons 1-4 on Black Friday.  I knew it was going to be a funny show when I couldn't stop laughing during the pilot episode.  So often the very first episode is pretty "meh" but you stick around to see if it will get better.  I laughed from start to finish on the first episode.  I'm on disc 2 of season 4 right now, and have already loaned out the first 3 seasons to two different sets of people.  I will gladly share if anyone else is interested in watching.  You won't be sorry.

I bought this identity theft prevention stamp from Bed Bath & Beyond for $5.  It's self inking and when you stamp a piece of mail that has your name and address printed on it, it prints this indecipherable pattern over the text that makes it impossible to read the infomation underneath!  It's perfect for me because I'm too lazy to walk into the office to shred sensitive materials sometimes, and it's perfect for Elvis who is on red alert at all times that someone is trying to steal his identity.  Buy one.  And if you don't want to, let me know and I'll buy one for you.  With a 20% off coupon, of course.

List of Procedures

Ok, I remembered to bring home the info about the surgeries from work.  Here is what I am having done on February 2, and what each procedure entails:

• Hysteroscopy - A lighted telescope will be placed into the uterus through the cervix.  This will allow direct visualization of the inside of the uterus.
• Endometrial Biopsy - A small sample of the lining of the uterus will be obtained for evaluation by a pathologist.
• Sono-Hysterosgraphy - This is a test that checks to see if the fallopian tubes are open.  A catheter is inserted through the cervix into the uterus.  The uterus and fallopian tubes are then filled with a saline solution, and the flow of this solution is observed with the assistance of a high-powered ultrasound.  The physician can determine whether the solution flows freely through the fallopian tubes or whether they appear to have a blockage and can see some uterine abnormalities, such as polyps or a septum.
• Cervical/Vaginal Cultures

I've had the Sono-Hysterosgraphy before, but it's been several years so Dr. Vasquez wants to do another one.  All of the procedures are anesthesia elective, but he has recommended that I go under and I agree!  I get so queasy when I think about body fluids and organs and wounds.  Siiiick.

Even though I probably won't actually need the time off, since my surgery is on a Thursday, I will be taking off Friday from work as well to rest.  I may sound like a big weenie, but anytime I can get free days off from work (I get unlimited number of sick days as a salaried employee), I'm gonna take 'em!

Consultation with Dr. Vasquez - 1/9/2012

We went to Dr. Vasquez's office today for our consultation.  After an unhappy and unimpressed experience with Nashville Fertility Center (NFC) and Dr. Hill's team, I researched for another fertility clinic in Nashville and found The Center For Reproductive Health (CRH) and Dr. Vasquez.  There were many things that drew me to this clinic, but the main one is their desire to determine the individual's cause for infertility.  I'll be honest, aside from not feeling like my voice was being heard, and never meeting with the same doctor twice, and feeling like I was throwing money away, the thing that bothered me the most about NFC was that they were content, and expected me to be too, with diagnosing me with "unexplained infertility."  End of story.  Well after meeting with Dr. Vasquez today, it is so clear to me that NFC was simply in the business of fertility treatments, and not necessarily interested in helping me become a mom.

Dr. Vasquez said today that most fertlity doctors do types of "pre-screening" of patients to determine if they're going to be successful in conceiving with fertility treatments.  He called it "cherry picking."  He said that they throw prescriptions of Clomid at you to see how your body reacts to it to better determine if they would be able to increase their chance of their clinic's success rate at "helping you have a baby."  He said that most doctors don't look at the biology of the patient.  Because, as I learned today, it takes a perfect egg, a perfect sperm, and a perfect uterine lining to conceive, carry and deliver a baby.  A lot of people don't realize that a woman has only a 20% chance of conceiving each cycle, and so many of those people who can take it for granted.

So after talking and learning and having my blood drawn to check my luteal something-or-others, I was given the instruction to call the office when I start my period so I can get a shot of something and then return the next day for an ultrasound to look at my granules (?) or something like that.  Dr. Vasquez used lots of big, scientific words that I vaguely remember from my high school and college biology days, so forgive me if I can't recall exactly what he said about everything.  Bottom line is that he is doing testing to determine my cause of infertility so that we don't just throw money away at that 20% that is likely lower in my case since I've never been pregnant ever and I have irregular periods (as in not every 28 days with ovulation on day 14).

In addition to having to call the office when I start my period and go through that 2-day testing cycle, I have already been scheduled for a surgery to dig around in my lady parts.  I was thinking he meant that I would have another HSG where they fill a catheder of contrast and do an ultrasound on my fallopian tubes, but this is an actual surgery.  The same day, Elvis will have to have another semen analysis done.  Then, in about 3 weeks, we'll go back for the followup appointment to discuss the findings and our plan at building our biological family.  Such a rollercoaster of emotions, but mostly relief that I will not be left answerless.  It's going to be a good year.

Change in Plans

We're not telling everybody, mainly because we sound so undecided and wishy-washy about it all, but I figure that the only people that read this blog are close friends anyway and I want to share.  Elvis is the one that doesn't want to tell anybody, but it gets difficult dodging the questions or making up stories about why we had to "reschedule" our appointment with the adoption agency, etc.  And, truth be told, I don't want those who have been so supportive and resourceful in our initial inquiry into adoption to feel let down by our decision to change gears, because...

We've decided to go the route of fertility treatments again.  Mainly, I think, IVF.  Elvis is really determined to exhaust all of our options at having a biological family before moving to adoption to start our family, and since I just want so badly to be a mom, I am willing to go through the processes needed to see if we can conceive our own children.

Stay tuned for updates!  We had our first appt today

Gettin' Fit in 2012!

I bought a treadmill for $200 off Craigslist yesterday.  I don't know how fancy it is or it isn't, but it looks pretty damn good to me!  And the best part is that Elvis chipped in $100!  I set it up in my office, facing my computer screen so that I can watch movies while I walk.  And yes, I do mean walk.  Give me some time and I'll work up to jogging, but for now I'm starting off with something that does not intimidate me into wanting to quit if I fall behind.

I did 1.3 miles today while watching a one hour episode of a tv show that I like, but it was really uncomfortable because of how I had to set everything up.  The treadmill itself is too loud to hear the computer over (even at 100% volume), and my earbud cord is way too short, so I pretty much had to roll the treadmill all the way up to the desk so that I could still hear the show.  My cord still wasn't comfortably long enough, so I was left to walk in an awkward hunched position so that I wasn't pulling the cord out of the headset jack on the computer, and since my legs, and consequently my stride, are so long, half of my foot was stepping off the belt almost my entire walk.  It was not the most conducive set up for a comfortable work out.  Nevertheless, I broke a good sweat, enough that I'll need to shower before Elvis and I go to dinner tonight with friends, and I felt good afterwards.

One day in a row.

It's A New Year

Can I just say that I'm thrilled that 2011 is behind me?  Without moaning about the difficulties the year presented me, I would just like to point out that last year is one that I could have done without.

There's nothing like wiping the slate clean and starting fresh in a New Year.  This is actually one of the first years that I've not outlined resolutions for myself ahead of time to dwell on in the last days of the concluding year.  Would I like to make some changes in my life this year?  Yes.  Have I set a goal for myself to reach by my 30th birthday in September?  Yes.  I do still have some resolutions for 2012, but I'm hoping that I can treat them more like lifestyle changes than a diet.  Here is what I would like to do in 2012:

• Get better sleep/be more well-rested - we just bought a new mattress set this afternoon, and it's being delivered and set up tomorrow evening, so I'm hoping that we're off to a good start on this one.  It's a Sealy memory foam mattress that I am hoping will relieve some of the pressure in my back when I sleep.  The new mattress, combined with an earlier bedtime that is not immediately preceded by watching tv, should do the trick.
• Be a better manager at work - I'm hoping that by having my first year of managing a small group of people and adjusting to being a manager and an employee at the same time under my belt, that I'll be able to make this goal happen.  The challenge I face is not actually wanting to be in the job/position that I'm in but still making the best of it, and doing it to the best of my ability.  Maybe I'll also figure out just what I want to do with my life professionally...
• Be less materialistic - In recent years I have found myself becoming more consumed with possessions and stuff than before.  I want to want less, materialistically speaking.  I want to not only feel content by what I already have, but to actually be grateful for what I have and not feel like it has to be more or better.  This is not a cold-turkey change; it's going to take some time.  It's going to take me focusing my energy on discovering other ways to make me happy outside of buying material possessions that provide only fleeting fulfillment.
• Rediscover my relationship with Jesus- I went to church this morning for the first time in probably two years.  I went by myself and it felt great.  Sure, there were a couple of songs that I'd never heard before, but that meant that I got to just listen to the words of the song and let them really marinate.  There's a lot of good stuff that I've been missing out on in the past couple of years that I don't plan on missing out on anymore.  I promise not to shove my beliefs down your throats, but I'm also making a promise to not act so flippant about my beliefs anymore.  I believe in God.  I am going to Heaven, not Hell.  I am a Christian, and I don't care if you roll your eyes if and when I write/say something that convicts those beliefs.
• Go to Oregon to spend time with my family - My grandfather is 90 years old.  He's got amazing genetics and is super healthy, but you just never know how much time you have left with anybody.  I really want to strengthen my relationships with both of my grandfathers, but particularly my dad's dad because I am not in touch with him outside of occasional updates from my dad when we speak on the phone.  I want to fly to Oregon for at least a week this year so I can spend some quality time with all of my family.  My sister is due with her first baby at the end of June and I want to be able to meet my little niece or nephew.  I want to go back to my roots and visit all of the places in Oregon that mean so much to my past, and share them with my present, Elvis, in the hopes that one day we'll both share them with our future children.

I know I've prattled on long enough, and have even gone off on some tiny tangents, but in summation, I just really want 2012 to be better than 2011 was, so that by this time next year I can look back and say that 2012 was a very good year.